I was nobody back then..well,atleast I felt that way..i was alwiz de shadow following you..we’re a package..but they only focus on you..come to think of it..i wasn’t alwiz like that..people knew me becoz of me..even wen I don’t give a damn about dem..wut goes around comes around I guess..
I have issues with de whole lot..i believe I’m invisible to dem..if people ask me to describe de whole lot in 1 word..i wud have answered..’sayu’..my heart sank wheneva I recall dem..tipula nak ckp I dun have good memories with dem..i do..n I’m more than thankful to be apart of dat..it’s juz de fact that my existence wasn’t appraciated haunts me till now..i tried to shake it off..but it wudnt go away..
Yes..i wasnt appreciated..that’s my answer to you..you once ask me about this..i finally figured out how to put in into words..
Little did I noe..we wud reunite with dem..at first,excitement washed over me..but it faded so quickly…I wasnt prepared with de emotional rush..even after 5years..nothing changed..i tried to grab their attention..then it occurred to me..why shud i??if they dun give a damn about me,why shud I bother with dem..relax2 sudaaa…so, I took de same road I used to take not long ago..i stepped aside..im keeping a low profile..i’m keeping my distance..
My dear, I moved on…I gained new frens along de way..friends who acknowledge me for who I am..frens who appreciated me..frens who befriended me becoz of me..i dun have to prove myself to dem..i dun have to susah2 catch their attentions..
Now,here’s my dilemma…while I moved on..you hold on to dem..(not that it’s a bad thing..it’s not.believe me..if I were in your place..i wud have done de same thing)..but I’m sorry for not feeling wat u’r feeling..i’m tryin not to be selfish here..i’m happy if u’r happy..i respect dem as your frens..no worries..i ‘m gud at acting..
Thru dis letter..i only hope you wud understand why I’ve acted de way I’ve acted b4..remember de 3musketeers?well..dis letter applies to dem as well..i’m too sensitive with de whole lot..as I told u b4..i have my own frens..its not dat I dun want to be apart of dem, u’ve no idea how I wished to b accepted..its juz dat I’m not convinced enuf if I were ever apart of dem..i’m still looking for signs..signs to show that I mean sumthin to dem..signs that shows I’m remembered when I’m not around..i noe I’m asking too much..gle ngade2..hee…dat’s why I dun go bothering dem anymore..tibe2 rase mcm if look for dem..maknenye I kaco mreka..sy xnak d chop begitu..
There..i finally confessed to you..juz hear me out..i dun expect you to do anything other than dat..i love u..i cherish our friendship..kite kan nak tua same2..pastu katil pn sblah2 kat umah org tua2 nanti..=p
5 comments:
Long way 2 go dear....be patient..just believe in urself..everything will soon be better...Aja2 Fighting!!
aduhai y do ya keep saying dat they only focus on DAT GURL?mane ade la~what they feel towards u is what they feel towards DAT GURL..and absolutely,what they feel towards DAT GURL is what they feel to u either,if they were caring,it's to u either~and if they were ignoring,it's to u either~maybe sumtime they ignored u,but it goes the same with DAT GURL~she had been ignored by them ALSO~
how on earth could u said they focus only to DAT GURL?adoiiii~lg2 yg extra loyar buruk tu~huuuuu
ala t~u r not the shadow of anyone k~and they do appreciate u~
i think it's like this~okay~maybe u already put a level for them to reach~and then,sumtime,they failed to reach that level,and when they failed,u think negatively that they dun give enough as much as u had given~
in friendship~there shudn't be any expectation~friendship shul go with the flow~let ur friends feel free in what they're doing~it's not that i'm saying u're controlling dem~but in some way,it's look like it~dun put any expectation~all u have to do is give and take~maybe u'll think dat u hv given more than they gave u~but again~their background~
dear,jgn lah mcm ni eh~actually both of you~you and DAT GURL~are the same to dem~seriously~DAT GURL is not their gurlfriend or wutsoever after all~so u shouldn't keep saying that they were pilih kasih or ape2 jelah~seriously~2-2 same je~hurmmm tatau dah la nak tulih ape dear~
jgn sedih2 la t~serbe salah~huuuuuuuu ="((
weh..baru pasan ade komen..
thnx zue!!!! luv ya..
sang kupu2,hmm...btul jgk..i did hv my expectations..tp klu mreka org len..or from tmpat len..ak xkesah sgt..but becoz they're from "de whole lot" is a personal issue 4 me..hee..thnx dear..no need 2 be sebe slh..im okay je..=))
wait! is it me??????
haha..bkn mag..dun wory..klu ak ade post psl ko ak wanekan font die kaler merah..aite??hee
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